Where I am now (1-b)

I am at a point where I know what I need to do to earn a living as a writer. I also know how to do it. But I lack confidence, not only in my writing ability but also in my time management skills. I'm afraid to seek work that I won't have time to complete.

Like everybody else, multiple priorities pull me in opposite directions. Unlike everybody else, I feel overwhelmed and I freeze. Instead of knocking one thing off my list and moving on to the next, I think of all the things on my list and do none of them. Part of my problem is that I haven't even made the list! In part "a" of the first assignment, I posted that I haven't been writing and I'm a mess. Not making lists falls into my "not writing" category. And when I don't write down what I need to do, I don't get it done--at least not in any timely, relaxed or reasonable manner.

My obligations are all related to family and working for dh. And when I'm not doing something for family or dh (i.e. doing something for myself) I feel guilty. My only social obligation is that I'm the secretary/newsletter editor for our neighborhood civic association.

Time wasters for me? Reading list e-mails. I justify it by saying I'm learning a lot by reading them. But truth is, not a whole heckuvalot of it is "educational." Enjoyable, yes. Gives me a sense of community? Definitely. Consumes way too much time that could be spent writing? Absolutely.

How much time could I have to write? Honestly, probably between 3-5 hours a day. And if I could get my two youngest to bed at an hour when most infants and 3yos are in bed, I could have more. (Unfortunately, 3 of my 4 daughters are nightowls.) But for now, I should be able to write for a minimum of 3 hours a day...though it will take a great deal of discipline.